Decisions

          I've decided that if you're gonna ignore me then fine, I'll ignore you too. If you're not willing to start the conversation then we won't talk. If the conversation dies because of you it's gonna stay dead. Just saying Yeah won't keep me around long enough to talk to you. I won't sit here trying to think of what to say  to yeah because you know what? How I see it is if you wanted to talk to me so badly, if I was the one person you didn't want to stop talking to you won't let the conversation die. So if you do and you do like me then awesome message me again and say something else, change the subject, talk about your day I don't care just show me you're willing to put in SOME effort. After all, I've always been the easy to get girl, and I'd always come back to you but not anymore. I'm tired of it. After all don't guys like to chase girls? And I'm so tired of chasing it all makes sense. Maybe you don't like me enough to keep up a conversation with me and that's fine. Because you know what? If you're not the guy who wants to keep a conversation with me don't you dare expect ME to be the girl to keep a conversation with you. After all I have to live by my new motto... If you don't put in the effort why should I?

Have you ever?

Have you ever been sitting there just wanting to bawl your eyes out to your best friend but you can't. For whatever reason you can't and it sucks. So you sit there unable to do anything it's like your brain shuts down. And who are you supposed to tell this stuff to? Your best friend is out of the question and that really was the only option. I guess I should've noticed her acting different separating more from me but I didn't and now I have... what? What DO I have? A best friend that isn't my best friend anymore? An old friend that holds all your secrets? You have nothing it feels like. You can't fight for what's already gone so you do nothing. You keep it all inside 'til you run out of energy. And then you just break down. Too many secrets. Too much pain. Too much feeling of betrayal it's just all too much so you can sit there and slowly break down because nobody's gonna stop you. Not even try.

Superhero or Supervillan?

In today's world we all like to pretend. What would being a superhero be like? Why can't just average people be superheros? The only reason we can't be is because we're all weak inside. If you saw someone in trouble what would you do? Now your automatically going to respond help them but you wouldn't really. If someone was beating the shit out of a person would you really step in to help?

Everyday it keeps hurting.

Get over him. He’s not even worth it. He is not worth your time or your tears. Yeah you loved him, I know that. And I know you just can’t see yourself with anyone other than him, I get it, I’ve been there. But why do you have to spend all your time sitting at home, bawling your eyes out and wondering where he is or who he's with? Do you really think he is thinking about you right now? He's not. Sure it hurts, the fact that he is out there, and he's going to fall in and out of love with other girls. You're gonna see him with one of his new girlfriends. Prepare yourself, because its gonna hurt. He will hold her a little bit closer and squeeze her hand just a little tighter because he knows your watching. He knows its killing you and that’s why he will do it. Don’t let him get to you because that’s exactly what he wants. Don’t give him what he wants. He doesn’t even deserve it. So what if he doesn’t talk to you; do you honestly wanna be friends with an asshole like him anyways? I know, you do. But give it time. Because all he would do is talk about his new girlfriend and just try and make you jealous, do you really wanna hear that? No. Screw him and his girlfriend. He will be sorry. Trust me. When he finally sees you with some other guy who’s not him. With that huge grin on your face and your boyfriend holding you close, he will realize how happy you are now. And how happy your boyfriend is because he has you; the girl of his dreams. He will realize the huge mistake he made when he let you go, when he decided to choose her over you. When he decided he just did not love you the same. Trust me, he will be sorry. And don’t sit there thinking he won’t be sorry I know you are. But I guarantee you now; He will be sorry. Don’t go on spending your nights waiting for that one call you know your never gonna get. Or that IM you know he will never send you simply because he likes to ignore you. He like to pretend he does not see you online, he does it out of spite just because he knows its killing you. When he walks past you in the hallways he is gonna look right past you, but you need to know he will do that because he knows somewhere inside you, it will hurt. I’m not gonna lie to you. It will hurt. It’ll hurt a lot. But it will hurt even more when you see her name and how much he loves her in his profile. It's all gonna hurt. Knowing your not the girl that’s making him smile. Knowing your not the first person he thinks of when he wakes up or the last before he goes to sleep. Knowing your not the face on his background of his phone anymore. Know that if he hasn’t already, he will delete the album of pictures of you he has on his phone. Knowing you wont be spending every single moment possible with him. Knowing there’s gonna be no more late night phone calls arguing about who loves who the most. And you know what, today, tomorrow, next week, months from now; your phone will go off with a text message, you will instantly grab your phone hoping its him saying he wants to give your relationship another shot. But trust me; hes got to much pride. Even if he wanted to be back with you, he wouldn’t tell you. Your soon gonna realize he doesn’t care about you anymore and he wont be the first person you call when your upset. He won't be the one to put that smile back on your face. And yeah its gonna hurt; its gonna hurt a lot. But you know what your gonna do? Your gonna hold your head up. Your gonna show him your better than him and you don’t need him in your life. Your gonna prove to him that.