Have you ever?

Have you ever been sitting there just wanting to bawl your eyes out to your best friend but you can't. For whatever reason you can't and it sucks. So you sit there unable to do anything it's like your brain shuts down. And who are you supposed to tell this stuff to? Your best friend is out of the question and that really was the only option. I guess I should've noticed her acting different separating more from me but I didn't and now I have... what? What DO I have? A best friend that isn't my best friend anymore? An old friend that holds all your secrets? You have nothing it feels like. You can't fight for what's already gone so you do nothing. You keep it all inside 'til you run out of energy. And then you just break down. Too many secrets. Too much pain. Too much feeling of betrayal it's just all too much so you can sit there and slowly break down because nobody's gonna stop you. Not even try.